Being a boy mom is hard…but not for what you think.

Ya’ll. Being a boy mom is hard.

But not for reasons you may think.

I can handle the gross. I can handle the mud. I can handle the snuggles and the kisses. I can handle the bugs and the eating constantly and the sports in the house. I can handle the poop and toot and burp jokes.

What is hard for me as a momma is to teach my boys how to be like Christ without taking away their “boyness” and masculinity. This is so hard for me sometimes because my first inclination is to cuddle them. To tell them to stop fighting. To tell them no roughhousing. To kiss all their cuts and scrapes and bruises. To let them cry for as long as they want. To make them be MY version of “good”. To tell my husband he’s being too hard on them. (Haha. The fact that women try to tell men how to raise their sons is laughable…but I digress.)

But God made males and females extremely different from one another. In 1 Kings 2 David is on his deathbed and tells Solomon, “Be strong and be courageous like a man.” Paul likewise tells the Corinthians to “Be alert, stand firm in the faith, act like a man, be strong.”

That sounds a little different than what my heart as a momma says. And that sounds a lot different than what the world says.

When you google the word “masculinity” you will find the top 10 websites link it with the terms
Toxic
harmful
violence
sexism
illness
harmful

All negative terms. The world tells my boys that it is wrong to be manly. It is wrong to want to be brave. It is wrong to be a leader. It is wrong to be strong. It is wrong to want to destroy things and play with guns and chase each other and tackle and wrestle and be loud and all the things that my boys love doing. They. Are. Wrong.

But what does God say? Not even the church or Christian culture. A lot of the time Christian culture forgets that Abraham had an army or Jesus built a whip to clean out the temple. Hippie Jesus is still alive and well.

What does the Bible say about men? How do we as mommas balance that out? I am very grateful for a husband who is very involved with raising our kids. He does a wonderful job on teaching our boys how to be tough men. But, I know there are a lot of women who do not have supportive husbands or fathers for their kids. I can’t just apply the guidelines we have in our house “Let momma be momma, and let daddy be daddy.”
( I actually spent the morning cuddling my needy, wild 2 year old boy.)

The Bible says that God created Male and Female. Two very distinct and different genders.
I think that’s the first step in learning how to care for our boys. They aren’t like us.

The second part is showing our boys that they CAN and SHOULD be strong and brave and fearless IN CHRIST. Paul actually ends his sentence to act like a man with “your every action must be done in LOVE.” Wait, they can be manly AND act in love! Be brave and tell people about Jesus. Be strong in your faith. Get ready to face the battle and fight your giants with God as your leader. To me love is sitting and reading with my kids or making dinner or playing card games. Love to my husband is playing football or wrestling. One of their favorite games is daddy holds you as tight as he can and you get out without crying. I don’t understand it. But they love it.

Real men also obey the Word of God. As mommas, our job is to direct our sons to Christ and to obey His word. Paul exalts Timothy’s mother and grandmother for teaching him the Scripture and building the foundation for his faith. Part of obedience is self control. Patience. Gentleness. Perseverance. Bravery. Love. Teach him not only to feel those emotions, but to control them. Teach him it’s ok to wrestle with his brothers, but not out of anger. Teach him to love women but not be controlled by lust. Teach him to follow God’s word with his whole heart.

Mommas. Keep the faith. Encourage your boys to be boys. Teach them to be men of God. That they can be both strong and loving. Those two words are not mutually exclusive. Most of all, teach them to be like Jesus.

Published by Danielle Barker

Hi, I’m Danielle. Momma of five who survives every day with Jesus. I'm somewhere between a crunchy and silky mom. I love theology and relating it to motherhood. Coffee and running keep me sane. ♥️ Best advice? Make your home the place you want to be.

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